In the future, everything will work
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"this house is clean"
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If you think about it, pearls are just oyster boogies.
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Does Nobel have a prize for getting up early on the weekend? Because I deserve that one.
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John & Kate + 8 = (John - Kate) / 8
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Why are corn holders shaped like little pieces of corn? So you don't forget what they are used for?
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Why are ghosts always skinny? Do no fat people haunt the living - or is the afterlife the ultimate weight loss routine?
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Dear Media: please keep hyping 'Montezuma's Final Solution' so our upcoming flights are empty
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A modest proposal - henceforth 'swine flu' to be known as 'whine flu'
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11 days...
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