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November 2007 Archives

TASER electronic stun guns are a form of torture that can kill, a UN committee has declared after several recent deaths in North America. "The use of these weapons causes acute pain, constituting a form of torture,'' the UN's Committee against Torture said.
I'd say listening to the insufferable windbags at the UN "causes acute pain, constituting a form of torture," but perhaps this definition is, um, a smidgen more liberal, if that is at all possible. The UN definition seems to be, "It hurts - and someone else is doing it."

unpanty.jpg United Nations, you win the Panty on the Head award for minimizing the definition of torture. I've a feeling you'll be back soon.

mobear.jpgA British teacher has been charged with insulting religion and inciting hatred after allowing her class to name a teddy bear Mohammed.
Don't know, looks like the name fits.

"Ow, that hurt!" a female robot squeaked, narrowing her eyes as a young dentist drilled on her replica teeth. "Now, I'm OK," she said as the dentist eased off.
isitsafe.jpgNo word on whether this dental droid has the features of Dustin Hoffman, but if the Japanese are at their marketing best, there is sure to be one in the future.

"Yes, it's safe, it's very safe, it's so safe you wouldn't believe it!"
ed209.jpgPolice have lost red-light cameras to traffic accidents but never to gun play. "This is the first one that's been shot," Capt. Gordon Catlett said of the wounded camera at the intersection of Broadway Avenue and Interstate 640 -- one of 15 camera-equipped intersections in the city.
cumon.jpgKevin Dubrow, lead singer for the 1980s heavy metal band Quiet Riot that scored a hit with "Cum on Feel the Noize," was found dead in a Las Vegas home. He was 52.

Something I didn't know, but probably should have: both "Cum on Feel the Noize" and "Mama Weer All Crazee Now" were both covers of songs originally recorded by chronic misspellers Slade. You learn something every day.
Incredibly, so determined was she that the terrible "mistake" of pregnancy should never happen again, that she begged the doctor who performed the abortion to sterilise her at the same time.
SaveThePlanetKillYourself.jpgNow why stop with simply ending your genetic line? Why not go one step further and remove yourself from the oh-so-overwhelming burden on the planet? It's time to step up to the plate!
A first-grader was suspended Tuesday for drawing a stick figure shooting another in the head with a gun and allegedly threatening students.

douchebagstickfigure.gifAt this rate of PC hysteria, you have to wonder how long before a student is suspended for playing the (presumably un-PC) game of hangman. In that game you've got a triple-threat to the hyperventilating PC crowd - violence, nooses, and capital punishment. Keep an eye out for that story.

A question - if the student had written "George Bush" below the figure, do you think there would have been an uproar?
From Belgium, where something may have been, er, lost in translation:
whatapisser.jpg"It's fun, it's supposed to show how cosmopolitan London is. Yes, I really think it says London is cosmopolitan," insisted a spokeswoman for Eurostar.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
But what if you could capture every waking moment of your entire life, store it on your computer and then recall digital snapshots of everything you've seen and heard with just a quick search?
A man who allegedly was fleeing police was attacked and killed by an alligator in a pond, Local 10 reported.
Malaysia, Iran and Turkey plan to build an "Islamic car" fitted with a compass to find the direction of Mecca, and a compartment to keep the Koran in, the Malaysian state news agency said.

recall.gifAbout 4.2 million Chinese-made children's toys were recalled Wednesday after U.S. regulators learned a powder in the toy may explode when brought into contact with flame. Two children in the USA blew their hands off (one of each, left and right) after lighting the fuses of the Hanjin 'Golden Shower with Report' playset. They apparently did not read the directions, which stated to "Lite fuze and getaway. Do not hold in hamd" (sic).

The Chinese have a long tradition of mixing gunpowder into their toys, going back at least until the eighth century.
A plane carrying more than 100 people made an emergency landing in South Africa after an engine fell off during takeoff from Cape Town on Wednesday, officials said. No injuries were reported.
No word on whether the engine crushed one Donald Darko, or if a six foot tall púca named Frank was seen in the vicinity.
From the Smoking Gun, a tale of brutal torture:
An al-Qaeda operative serving life in prison for his role in the bombing of American embassies in Africa contends that his rights are being violated by U.S. jailers who have denied him access to Arabic publications and religious books, limited his mail privileges, and no longer allow him to use a Walkman.
Oh, the humanity - a few paragraphs down we find out the true barbarity of this man's captors:
Currently, Al-Owhali claims, he is only provided with month-old copies of USA Today
The fiends.

pantyonthehead.jpg Mohamed Al-Owhali, you win the Panty on the Head award for minimizing the definition of torture. It looks great on you. No, really.

From the land of Guinness champions:
indianjuggler.jpgA toddler born with eight limbs and believed by some to be the reincarnation of the multi-limbed Hindu goddess Vishnu, is set to undergo a 40-hour operation to remove half of her limbs.
mangycoyote.jpgThe results are in: The ugly, big-eared animal found this summer in southern Texas is not the mythical, bloodsucking chupacabra. It's just a plain old coyote.
Confirmed by DNA testing. Darn.
Besides the pretty graph at Charteo.us that I can check from time to time, I've found another way to look at the 'sales' of Infernal Device. According to this post, I can check the sales data through the Ingram Book Group, a wholesaler of books, and multiply by six (or ten) to get to a rough estimate of copies sold.

So here's the data:
0 copies in warehouses (makes sense; it's not due until mid-November)
200 copies ordered
34 copies backordered

41 unadjusted demand
127 last week adjusted demand
0 sales this year

So what does it all mean? Who knows - but that Charteo.us graph is pretty.