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In our continuing endeavor to read every page on the internet, we stumbled across this gem, written about Steven Seagal:
seagal_scent_of_action.jpgUpon further reflection, we realized that "Scent of Action" may really be a fancied-up phrase for "B.O.". Steven Seagal is successfully selling his sweat - and furthermore, in the intention that it be splashed upon your face.

Marketing Genius.

idlehands.jpgA man who believed he bore the "mark of the beast" used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave and called 911, authorities said.
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A scene straight out of Idle Hands - right down to the microwave detail. Excellent quote by the sheriff's Captain - "That kind of mental illness is just sad."
Indeed.
botonbot.pngLevy says that by 2050 we'll be creating robots so lifelike, so imbued with human-seeming intelligence and emotions, as to be nearly indistinguishable from real people. And we'll have sex with these robots. Some of us will even marry them. And it will all be good.
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Here's hoping that these future sexbots will not be running the contemporary version of Windows, as the built-in feature of crashing at an inopportune moment could be particularly disappointing, not to mention embarrassing.
missingleg.gifProbably one of the best quotes from a news story in quite a while.

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So the story is that mankind's genes have been changing at a breakneck (historically speaking) pace, and that quite a few useful adaptations have sprung forth - and at least one adaptation of dubious usefulness:
For example, Africans have new genes providing resistance to malaria. In Europeans, there is a gene that makes them better able to digest milk as adults. In Asians, there is a gene that makes ear wax more dry.
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earwiz.jpg The only advantage of drier ear wax I can come up with is that it is ultimately easier to clean off the ear buds of iPods and Bluetooth headsets. Wonder what that means?
"Ow, that hurt!" a female robot squeaked, narrowing her eyes as a young dentist drilled on her replica teeth. "Now, I'm OK," she said as the dentist eased off.
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isitsafe.jpgNo word on whether this dental droid has the features of Dustin Hoffman, but if the Japanese are at their marketing best, there is sure to be one in the future.

"Yes, it's safe, it's very safe, it's so safe you wouldn't believe it!"
A man who allegedly was fleeing police was attacked and killed by an alligator in a pond, Local 10 reported.
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From the land of Guinness champions:
indianjuggler.jpgA toddler born with eight limbs and believed by some to be the reincarnation of the multi-limbed Hindu goddess Vishnu, is set to undergo a 40-hour operation to remove half of her limbs.
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mangycoyote.jpgThe results are in: The ugly, big-eared animal found this summer in southern Texas is not the mythical, bloodsucking chupacabra. It's just a plain old coyote.
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Confirmed by DNA testing. Darn.
theflymovie.jpgA 6-year-old Central Florida boy nearly died when he became tangled in a large spider web Halloween decoration hanging at his home...
The spider web was so tight that Cade's parents said they were not able to get a finger between it and his neck. The couple quickly cut the nylon with scissors and saved the child.
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I guess it's good that their Halloween decoration wasn't a noose.