Recently in Twits Category
"bread so French it must be liberated" - well played, Jimmy John's
Idea: invent a pillow in which both sides always retain their coolness.
If I ran a grocery store, I would put the baby diapers near the adult diapers, not all the way at the other end of the store.
Finally figured out how to configure Dreamweaver to use SVN. Thanks for the pathetic documentation, Adobe. No, really.
I'll pay you a dollar if you name your Photoshop layers.
Dear Tim Burton, I still have a few childhood memories you have yet to molest.
The only good thing about the Titanic sinking was that it allowed us to see Kate Winslet stark raving nude.
Something you'll never hear Mike Holmes say: "Gee, these guys did a really good job."